time (nonlinear)

 time. 

 nonlinear, everflowing too fast too slow too much but not enough.

slipping through my fingers, dripping like water from a leak in a bucket.

stuck in one place, honey in a jar. 


time.

2 days ago, 13 with a scared smile,

1000 years ago, 13 with a fear of turning 14. 


this girl did not know,

life. time. love. friendships. 

she has no idea of the rollercoaster she would ride. 

a deathly fear of rollercoasters did nothing to help. 


adult. (a year and a half away.)

a tear collects, by the time it is halfway down my cheek i am 21. 

existing, a stage; interpretive dancing through life.

i consist of her, she is yet to be me.


we exist independent, boundless in our own universes. 

i look after her now, a small girl to protect.

she wouldn't believe what i (she) did. a dream fulfilled, a life lived. 

but time marches on.


i stare at the mirror

phases of life clicking through like photos in my gallery.

1. 3. 6? no 7. 13. and suddenly 17 looms over like an overhanging vine. 


so scared that any decision she makes will send her tumbling

a butterfly effect of tragedies, 

but little does she know (i know.)


time, nonlinear. a jump forward, 6000 steps backward.

the future is here and girlhood is something i am drenched in and yet miss so dearly.

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