envious of neurons.

when I read and listen

when I watch and analyze

the media that makes me...........

s p i r a l


I can't help but envy

these beautiful girls who are

not beautiful because of how they look but

are beautiful because of how they think. how they speak.


beautiful because of the way the neurons fire in their brain.


I am bitter about the fact that I wasn't blessed

with the ability to make people 

f e e l.


I want to so desperately be someone who vocalizes inner monologues in a way that makes it seem like they were woven into thoughts by angels. 

And while it may seem like vain grumbling to you - she and I are not the same.


While her thoughts ruminate in  

peoples brains and hearts, I am still sitting here

trying words to see if they fit, googling synonyms.


How I wish 

I was one of those girls

who leave a mark on you the second a word comes out of their mouth.


One of those girls who bewitch you.

Capture you with the way their mind works.

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